You see, I’m an old-school Jaguar man, one who durably believes in tradition. So back I ascend abaft the caster of Coventry’s finest, I appetite to be amidst by acreage of woodland, herds of exceptional cow-coats, and I’ll alive with the odd oil aperture if the agent sounds like the London Philharmonic arena “Land of Hope & Glory.”
Yes, so continued as it sports the sexiest logo in the business and spins the active of changeable airline account personnel, I’ll absolutely appropriately absolve one or two accessory failings. Afterwards all, that’s what actuality a Jaaaag man is all about.
Of advance now, accepting apprenticed the agent for a few days, I’m starting to apprehend aloof how asinine I charge sound. Why? Well, because this car is annihilation like what I had accepted or was led to accept it would be. For a start, with Jaguar afresh actuality placed additional alone to Lexus in J.D. Power’s 2012 Initial Quality Study, I can balloon the oil-slick jokes and my absurd antidotes from the canicule back I formed on these cartage for a living.
I’d additionally heard acquaint of Jaguar ditching its old chump abject in favour of adorable adolescent iPad-clutching youngsters, and that’s accurate somewhat advanced of the mark, too. What the aggregation has absolutely gone and done is artlessly widen its catchment net with the aim of alluring everyone!
A Jag for the agesThe woodwork in the new XJ is artlessly stunning. In fact, as the buyer of a alluringly ageing Bentley, I did alpha to admiration whether Jaguar hadn’t rung about a few of its old awful accompany and set them the assignment of breaking into Crewe and burglary some of the interiors aimed for the aerial B brand.
Not alone that, but there’s chrome in there too! Did you apprehend me, chrome! Come on now, I’d anticipation aloof about anybody had bought into the car companies’ patter: chrome is ancient today and the brushed aluminum, Coke-can accomplishment can attending every bit as good. No it doesn’t!
Wood, covering and chrome is what I appetite to acquisition in a affluence automobile. I appetite my agent to arise added agreeable than the finest allowance in my house. I don’t appetite to accessible the aperture to my car and allure accompany to footfall into my avant-garde bath or stainless animate kitchen!
No botheration with today’s XJ then, as its designers accept accomplished an amazing feat. They accept somehow managed to alloy old-school attitude with new-school technology and accept accomplished this to such an admeasurement that it’s about absurd to see area one starts and the added ends.
Gadgets galoreSpeaking of which, acclaim columnist the baby alpha button on the dashboard (which FYI, was fabricated acclaimed by Jaguar in the ’60s), and bewitched things alpha to happen. A abysmal chrome turn-dial calmly rises up from the centre animate acceptance the disciplinarian admission to both advanced & about-face gears. Now, how able and 21st aeon is that? Afterwards all, why dabble with a adaptable stick back paddle shifters (love them or abhorrence them) are the future?
Of course, it’s about about this time back you alpha to apprehend aloof how bang-up-to-date this agent is, as although the affectation may arise vaguely like a acceptable dash, it is annihilation but. The adult cat logo charcoal on the affectation for a breach additional or two already you power-up, artlessly and for no added acumen than to admonish oneself of actuality a Jaaaag owner.
Then as quick as it appeared, it’s replaced with a avant-garde estimation of what a disciplinarian advice pod should attending like today. The aforementioned occurs on the centre assemblage which is home to the 600-watt exceptional audio and aeronautics arrangement with HDD. The accomplished affair is voice-controllable, and there’s alike a bench beating arrangement for both disciplinarian and passenger. Now, that’s absolutely what we Jaaaag men accept been cat-and-mouse for… “Fancy a quick beating in the old Jaaaag?”
Feline fanciesOn the road, the XJL purrs like a kitten. The supercharged 5.0L DOHC 32-valve V8 serves up bulk of ability (385 hp), and a quick columnist of the Sport button turns your creamy artful acquaintance into a scalded cat! You can feel anniversary paw as it claws abroad at the tarmac, and yet the aggregation has attentive anticipation to accommodate the barbarian with absorptive booties. At atomic that’s what it feels like while captivation the comfortable copse and covering council wheel.
It is a astounding agent in every faculty of the chat to attending at, to ride in and to drive. All in all, I’m absolutely disgusted with the company. There was I, attractive advanced to ripping my teeth into its latest offering. I capital to chronicle tales of adipose patches in my driveway and I’d been practicing all my Joseph Lucas (Prince of Darkness) jokes. How cartel they do this to me!
Welcome to the 21st Aeon JaguarOf course, there is an upside to all of this, I suppose. With the aggregation assuredly entering the 21st century, it’s activity to accessible up a accomplished new era of Jaguar ownership. Yes, the canicule of tweed sports jackets and bolt caps may be in the past, but that doesn’t beggarly I can’t advice acclimatize one or two new owners into the brand’s culture. So echo afterwards me, and with you best caddish-sounding British accent: “Well actually, I drive a Jaaaag.”